I am a survivor, a warrior and like many of us who grew up with great pain and challenge, I was set upon the path of being a healer. I grew up in an environment void of expressed love and intimacy, yet rich with lies and abuse. My alone time was my safe place and a space of solace. It also became a space of great creativity and imagination.
At the age of eight I was traumatically told about my adoption. At the age of ten my mother put me on Weight Watchers, the first of many diets over the years. I was consistently told I wasn’t enough, that I was too fat, too loud, too boyish, that I wasn’t normal and was asked repeatedly by my mother “What’s wrong with you!?” and “Why aren’t you more like the other popular pretty Jewish girls?” After enough of this, I began to wonder myself why I was so different, which until stepping on my spiritual path left me feeling less than, undeserving, broken and misunderstood. Although I was always surrounded by others, my life was lived very much in isolation with a sense of being completely alone. No one shared my story, my circumstances or my pain.
I spent most of my life searching for the truth. I inherently knew things I had no idea of how I knew (that there were lies around my birth name Melanie, or that I wasn’t really Jewish for example). My guru, Mata Amritanandamayi (aka Amma) says the greatest question we can ask is, “Who am I?” I had been asking this question since the age of eight!
As I grew into adulthood I got to know myself through the 12 Step programs, many years of therapy, a near death experience, meeting Amma, and great learning through many different spiritual paths and incredible experiences. I started to understand who I am as a spiritual being; the real “I”. But knowing my physical origins, what my genetics are, and why I am the way I am (which is incredibly different than most of my adopted family) was the one thing I never gave up on.
In 2015, after 43 years of searching, I was blessed with the miracle of finding my birth family through DNA testing. So many things came together and were validated for me. In 2017 I was also blessed with finding my life’s partner, someone I had given up on ever finding just months before we met. In 2019 I published my autobiography.
I have taken all of my life’s experiences and share them openly, authentically and vulnerably with any who inquire. I am committed to changing the world for the better, to bringing people healing, guidance and focusing on Love as the main objective. I do not tolerate separation or judgement in any way, shape or form. I believe, after a long life of learning what ‘family’ really is, that we are truly all connected. DNA is proving that more and more as time goes by.
My motto is “Love heals all things.” The greatest being love of the Self.
I work full time as a Registered Nurse and am also available for healing work, spiritual coaching, lectures and am committed to inspiring, motivating and supporting others in finding the life that they desire and love.
Esther lives in beautiful Sedona, Arizona with her spouse and their two amazing dogs.
All photos are property of Esther Shapiro